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WE ARE ALL GOING TO THE WORLDS FAIR (2021)

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"I was a kid up later than anyone in the house, reading and writing scary things and looking for a mode of expression as a young, queer, creatively frustrated person who didn’t have many opportunities to express themselves in a way that was going to be looked at in a positive light. As a trans person who was on a very long process of coming to terms with my transness, the idea of the internet as a space to explore that through fiction, before I was ready to explore that in reality, felt very moving. When I started writing this film, I didn’t know I was trans. By the time I finished writing the film, I did know I was trans." -Director Jane Schoenbrun We're All Going to the World's Fair is a 2021 American c oming-of-age horror film written, directed, and edited by Jane Schoenbrun. The film stars Anna Cobb in her debut role and Michael J. Rogers . teenage Casey sits alone in her attic bedroom, scrolling the internet under the glow-in-the-dark stars and black-light po...
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THE CABLE GUY (1996)

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"Women are a labyrinth, my friend. Can I be frank? I don't think you listen to her. I think you tell her what she wants to hear. She wants you to thirst for knowledge about who she is, all the complicated splendour that is women. When your love is truly giving, it will come back to you tenfold." -Jim Carrey, The Cable Guy "I'm vile and perverted. I'm obsessed and deranged. I've existed for years but very little has changed. I'm the tool of the government and industry too. For I'm destined to rule and regulate you. You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away. I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say. I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set...." — Frank Zappa Going into this movie totally blind, it would be a pretty safe assumption that the only reason this movie exists at all is just a house another one of Jim Carrey's 1,000% effort cu...
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HELLRAISER INFERNO (2000)

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I heard someone (Henry Zebroski) say once that all of the Hellraiser movies are worth watching. after the last 2 HELLRAISER movies I have sat through I am starting to doubt if the rest of the series is worth slogging through. After the shit show that was HELLRAISER BLOODLINE, I was curious to see how they would/could continue the story from there. also, this movie came out the year I was born so ya know... that's kinda neat... this movie focuses on a walking cliche police detective who becomes embroiled in a strange world of murder, sadism and madness after being assigned a murder investigation against a madman known only as The Engineer . No space, no toy makers, no demon princesses. just officer monologue driving around looking for clues and tampering with evidence. oh yeah and because this is a Hellraiser movie he is also equally horny and high as fuck. this is the first HELLRAISER movie made in the 2000s, and this movie screams the year 2000. the soundtrack, the acting, the co...
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BLOODY MUSCLE BODY BUILDER IN HELL (1997)

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"Shooting began way back in 1995 on director Shinichi Fukazawa‘s Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (aka The Japanese Evil Dead) , but it wasn’t until over 10 years later that the low budget 8mm splatter film was actually finished. Courtesy of Wild Eye Releasing, we’ve learned this week that the film is now finally being released in North America." -BLOODY DISGUSTING man, i feel like it has been forever since I actually watched a movie. Work is so busy lately I don't have the time, and when I do get the time, I usually spend it sleeping or playing video games. this seemed like the perfect movie to come back to. Japanese? Evil Dead? Fuck yes. After a surprise phone call interrupts his daily workout, beefy body builder Shinji agrees to meet his photojournalist ex-girlfriend to help with her research on haunted houses. Accompanied by a professional psychic, they visit an abandoned house once owned by Shinji's father. But inside the house a dark secret lingers, and they ...
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V/H/S VIRAL

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this movie is confusing, has the worst quality shorts, and the worst acting by far. the other VHS movies feel like they were filmed by indie directors, and most importantly it felt like real found footage. this movie feels like a studio trying to recreate the found footage style. juts like all of theses movies the segments vary in quality, so here is what i though of them. MAGIC MIKE unfortunately there are no hot dudes in this segment. instead the plot is a broke magician finds a cloak that gives him actual magic. but also the cloak is powered by evil and kills people. the gore is great, the acting is horrible, the documentary style is jarring for this series, and obverall its the weakest short in the movie. not a strong start guys. 3/10 REPUBLICAN HELL A Spanish fellow creates a portal that leads to an alternate version of himself and steps through to check out the other dimension. at first they seem identical, but it revealed the other dimension is a satanic dictatorship full of dem...
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V/H/S 94

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I was very excited when I heard this movie was coming, and I was not disappointed when it finally came. Maybe I should phrase that differently... Right off the bat, I love just how 1994 the aesthetic of this movie is. The constant VCR filter on screen is amazing, and even the acting and lighting of all the scenes simply screams the '90s. It's a lovely creep show-esque atmosphere that I have always loved from this series, and almost all of it scenes are fun as hell. As usually I'm going to divide this review into its segments, so let's get started with this wonderful Gale weathers ESC intro. GALE WEATHERS GETS A TUMMY ACHE Who couldn't love a perfect recreation of a '90s snarky News Castor and her cameraman covering a story about the world's newest cryptid, the ratman. They dive into the tunnels, and the tension gets higher with every step they take forward into the darkness. The segment will have you constantly searching every small detail of the fuzzy backg...
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V/H/S 2

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I think the best way to talk about this movie is to break it down into each segment and talk about them as they appear. THE STORY THAT CONNECTS EVERYTHING within the first 2 minutes of this movie, we see boobs and a penis. just wanted to mention that. the story that connects everything just sucks. I have never cared less about anything ever. not even going to bother talking about it. 0/10 EYE CAMERA this segment is... fine. the effects are well done, and the idea of the camera being in someone's eye is a great idea. when he looks through the peephole of his door, for example, is an awesome way to take advantage of the eye camera idea. it's not terribly original, but it has a few moments that make it worth watching. plus eye-gouging is always fun. 5/10 BIKE BOI BEING BITTEN another mediocre segment. this one is better that he first, with much more gore and another creative filming style. having a POV of a zombie before and after he turns is a great idea. the gore here is also am...
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